I can't get out of my own head as my Paris check up looms ahead.
On one hand I'm hoping for a 'You are good, what you are experiencing is normal, it will clear up in time.'
On the other hand I'm hoping for some resolution to the problems I am having: on going pain for 9 months now (because deep down I feel it's not normal, pain is the body's way of saying something's wrong). BUT that may mean another procedure and I can't handle that right now at all.
Do I want them to find something, knowing that in the past the 'fix' was surgery? And I'd rather not go down that road right now. 4 major surgeries in 1 coma in 3 years is a bit much.
Or do I want them to find nothing and go on suffering?
Total rock and a hard place!
So off I go to Paris and my check up. Wish me luck
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