One of the hardest things for me so far I must say is actually living and not just surviving. In some respects I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life, that I shouldn’t be chained to a desk but out living life to the fullest, seeing the world and leaving my mark on it.
And in other respects I feel like my life has been cut short. Like I’m living with this death sentence looming above, there’s a sense of urgency that I don’t or won’t have time to live a normal life, have dreams of a family and living until a ripe old age of 102 (like my great grandmother), get to have kids and watch them grow up and have kids of their own.
I’m having a hard time finding that middle ground. How does one now live? There’s no training manual for this, cancer and surviving doesn’t come with a handbook.
And in other respects I feel like my life has been cut short. Like I’m living with this death sentence looming above, there’s a sense of urgency that I don’t or won’t have time to live a normal life, have dreams of a family and living until a ripe old age of 102 (like my great grandmother), get to have kids and watch them grow up and have kids of their own.
I’m having a hard time finding that middle ground. How does one now live? There’s no training manual for this, cancer and surviving doesn’t come with a handbook.
Comments
Loz
Today I am 18 months post op!
At 42 when diagnosed, i too did not really fit the profile, apart from being slightly overweight which i was working on! Don't smoke, drink vry little and as the dr said i was (otherwise!) young healthy fit & strong.
How i sympathise with how you feel and also thank God for each special extra day he grants me (& my wife)
Last scan was clear, but i am awaiting followup of the blood tests taken just after as glucose and ca19 were apparently raised, but there are no tests done prevously to compare with! Could be normal level for me or poss diabetes starting with my reduced pancreas - obviously it was a bit of a bombshell after the news about the scan!
one day at a time and remember it is God in control!
Thanks for commenting. I was 1yr and 3 months post op at the time of that post. I've come a long way since then.
Please keep me up to date on your progress, I'd like to stay in touch.
God Bless you in your journey.